STICKY FOR JOKES

[common sense]

Not many people are called Lance these days.

But in medieval times, people were called Lance a lot.

[common sense]

Dad...there's a woman in't freezer."

"It's ok, that's Aunt Bessie."

[common sense]

I've been meditating and pondering in the garden.

I'm no fortune teller but my fuchsia looks bright.

[common sense]

Our lodger couldn't pay his rent this month. He asked if there was another way of covering the payment.

I brought the wife in, naked.

Fastest fucking cash payment I've ever seen.

[common sense]

Wife's upset. Wants to throw herself under a train and says I don't care or help her. So been out and bought her a fucking timetable....

[common sense]

On his last tour of Ireland, the Pope was asked what he thought of County Down.

“I preferred it when Carol Vorderman was in it”, he replied.

[common sense]

I just saw a homeless dwarf selling the Little Issue

[common sense]

After our 16 year-old daughter had opened her last present I asked my wife if we should tell her the great news. " OMG You got me Taylor Swift tickets?" she screamed. "No, you're adopted"