STICKY FOR JOKES

[Major]

Dianne Abbott on the phone. "Jeremy it's me Dianne. Have just arrived in Scotland. Where's Loch Down?"


She's taking a Covid 19 test later and just Tweeted that she's confident of passing as she's been up all night revising for it.

Haha loch down

I can actually imagine her saying that ..

Abbott is one reason for the Labour Party fiasco failure, she and Corvine put them back 20 years

[common sense]

In the US a clergyman died from drinking bleach. Trump is to be charged with bleach of the priest.

[common sense]

Son: "dad are we pyromaniacs?"

"Yes, we arson."

[Major]

Son: "dad are we pyromaniacs?"

"Yes, we arson."

Gabby and others reckons my jokes are crap, are you after my crown

I luv a laff.

[Major]

In the US a clergyman died from drinking bleach. Trump is to be charged with bleach of the priest.

ha ha ha.

[Cannydc]

As scientists in the USA try to determine whether it originated in an animal market or escaped from a lab, others say it’s the President now and everyone just has to live with it.

[common sense]

A teacher asks her class,

"Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood's girlfriend?"

Little Jimmy raises his hand and says, "Yes, Miss: it's Trudy Glenn."

"No, I'm afraid not Jimmy," replies his teacher, "the correct answer is Maid Marian."

"But Miss", pleads Jimmy, "that's not what it says in the song"

"What song is that?", asks the teacher.

"Robin Hood, Robin Hood, riding Trudy Glenn...

[Major]

A teacher asks her class,

"Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood's girlfriend?"

Little Jimmy raises his hand and says, "Yes, Miss: it's Trudy Glenn."

"No, I'm afraid not Jimmy," replies his teacher, "the correct answer is Maid Marian."

"But Miss", pleads Jimmy, "that's not what it says in the song"

"What song is that?", asks the teacher.

"Robin Hood, Robin Hood, riding Trudy Glenn...

lol lol lol you are norty

[Cactus Jack]

A perfectionist didn't walk into a bar because it wasn't set high enough

[Cactus Jack]

In the interest of efficiency Boris Johnson is going to sell his vacuum cleaner.

He's been told all it ever does is gather dust.

[common sense]

"Daddy, does Jesus use our bathroom?"

"I don't think so, sweetie. Why do you ask?"

"Cos every morning you bang on the bathroom door and shout, 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'"

[common sense]

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.

Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was sleeping.

Tell me, April, who created the universe?

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the arse.

God almighty shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

Awhile later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour? But, April didn't even stir from her sleep.

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. Jesus Christ shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question.

What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty third child?

And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE.

The Teacher fainted

[common sense]

An old grandma brings her grandson a bus driver a bag of peanuts every day.

First the bus driver enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he says to his grandmother,

Please don't bring me peanuts anymore.

Keep them for yourself.

The granny answers:

You know, I don't have teeth anymore son,

I just prefer to suck the chocolate around them.

[common sense]

A man walks into the doctor's with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his arse.

The doctor says, "this is a strange problem."

The guy replies, "this is just the tip of the iceberg."

[Major]

A man walks into the doctor's with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his arse.

The doctor says, "this is a strange problem."

The guy replies, "this is just the tip of the iceberg."