Poems, Rhymes and anecdotes

[VILS]

[Claire]

For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the message was lost.
For want of a message the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

[VILS]

Evangelical vicar in want
of a portable second-hand font
would dispose for the same
of a portrait (in frame) of the Bishop-Elect of Vermont.

Vils note; the said Bishop at the relevant time was a certain Most Reverend Vedder van Dyke.

[Claire]

The rain it falleth on the just
And also on the unjust fella
But mainly on the just because
The unjust has the just's umbrella

[VILS]

[VILS]

There once was a man who said "Damn!
It is borne in upon me I am
An engine that moves
In predestinate grooves;
I'm not even a bus, I'm a tram."

[Claire]

As I was going to St. Ives,
I met a man with seven wives,
Each wife had seven sacks,
Each sack had seven cats,
Each cat had seven kits:
Kits, cats, sacks, and wives,
How many were there going to St. Ives?

[VILS]

[Claire]

A was an Archer, who shot at a frog,
B was a Butcher, and had a great dog.
C was a Captain, all covered with lace,
D was a Drunkard, and had a red face.

E was an Esquire, with pride on his brow,
F was a Farmer, and followed the plough.
G was a Gamester, who had but ill-luck,
H was a Hunter and hunted a buck.

I an Innkeeper, who loved to carouse,
J was a Joiner, and built up a house.
K was King William, once governed this land,
L was a Lady, who had a white hand.

M was a Miser, and hoarded up gold,
N was a Nobleman, gallant and bold.
O was an Oyster girl, and went about town,
P was a Parson, and wore a black gown.

Q was a Queen, who wore a silk slip,
R was a Robber, and wanted a whip.
S was a Sailor, and spent all he got,
T was a Tinker, and mended a pot.

U was a Usurer, a miserable elf,
V was a Vintner, who drank all himself.
W was a Watchman, and guarded the door,
X was Expensive, and so became poor.

Y was a Youth, who did not love school,
Z was a Zany, a poor harmless fool.

[Claire]

There once was a man who said "Damn!
It is borne in upon me I am
An engine that moves
In predestinate grooves;
I'm not even a bus, I'm a tram."

[Claire]

A was an Apple pie;
B bit it;
C cut it;
D dealt it;
E eat it;
F fought for it;
G got it;
H had it;
J joined it;
K kept it;
L longed for it;
M mourned for it;
N nodded at it;
O opened it;
P peeped in it;
Q quartered it;
R ran for it;
S stole it;
T took it;
V viewed it;
W wanted it;
X, Y, Z, and ampersand, all wish’d for a piece in hand.

[Claire]

Multiplication is vexation.
Division is as bad.
The Rule of Three, it puzzles me
And fractions drive me mad.

[Claire]

My lovely Dad, who is very ill at the moment, looked after my eldest son two days a week when I was at work.
He had a 2 year old wee boy into Jazz.
He taught him all the old songs he had taught me and my brothers.

Like this one.

In an underground Garrett not far from Dundee
Just to be different I fell up a tree
This Winter, last summer, the year before last
A man with a hammer sat breaking his fast

Tra la la, tra la lee, who wid yi, who wid yi like to be me?

One day I went walking with my brother Jim
When somebody threw a tomato at him
Tomatoes are juicy and don't break the skin
But the big one that hit him was inside a tin

Tra la la etc.

Or this:

Three wee wives and three wee wives and three wee wives make nine "
Said the first wee wife tae the second wee wife "Will yi lend me yir washing bine?
Said the second wee wife tae the first wee wife "when will I get it back?"
Said the first wee wife tae the second wee wife "oh ah canny tell yi that
Cos I know where am gaun and I know who's gaun wimme
I hive a laud ai ma ain and his name is Bonny Jimmy
I took him tae a ball, ah took him tae a supper
The table halved in two and he stuck his nose in the butter
And didn't I laugh, didn't I laugh tae see his nose in the butter
Didn't I laugh, didn't I laugh tae see his nose in the butter"

Surreal

But one of my favourite memories was my boy at 2 years of age sitting in a trolley seat in Asda at the checkout and singing at the top of his wee voice

"Happy Harry sells fish
`Tuppence happ'ny a dish
If you don't like Happy Harry.
You'll no like his fish"

and an old man looked at him with a big beaming smile and said
"The old ones are the best son"

and he said
" My Papa taught me it"

Awwwww

[VILS]

Nice one Claire!

[Claire]

Nice one Claire!

Great memory VILS