Have you lost someone close

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Re: Have you lost someone close

Postby Text » Tue Sep 29, 2015 11:30 pm

Sorry about your loss, Stooo. She is at peace now. x
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Re: Have you lost someone close

Postby Guest » Wed Sep 30, 2015 6:47 am

Az nli wrote:Sorry to hear about your loss Stooo. I recall your kind words to me earlier in the year. I wish you as peaceful a transition as is possible over the next few months - go easy on yourself and give yourself permission to fall.


Lovely words Az x
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Re: Have you lost someone close

Postby jra » Wed Sep 30, 2015 5:31 pm

Stooo wrote:
Dimples wrote:Terribly sorry to hear your sad news about your Mum, Stooo. I know she had been poorly for a long time but this must still be very hard for you and your entire family. X


Yeah it was a bit of a bastard, this time last week after they had administered morphine and ditched the breath mask, she was so dry. Just a gentle blow of oxygen and some peace after the hell of the last four days.


Sorry to hear about your loss Stooo. Condolences.

Although I wasn't close to him recently, as we had gone our separate ways due to circumstances, I found out recently my best friend from from polytechnic had died from a heart attack. We were like brothers at the time. We went on a months inter-railing together, just the two of us and I was invited to his sisters wedding, which was a huge event, being an Indian wedding. So, I was pretty upset about that, even though I hadn't seen him for ages. He was only 46 (roughly) at the time.
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Re: Have you lost someone close

Postby OHW » Wed Sep 30, 2015 8:51 pm

Sorry for your loss Stoo - a sad time for you.

I've been kept busy recently with my Step Dad, he has Altzheimers and has deteriorated a lot over the past weeks. It's so sad to lose such a vibrant talented man to this awful disease, he has become a shuffling old man with no memory. My Mum is doing everything for him at the minute, as he is clinging on to his last bit of dignity and refuses help from anyone else. He lets me help out a little, but I'm kept busy by doing lots of stuff for my Mum, so that she can spend time with him and not get too exhausted herself. Between spending time at their house (just up the road from me) and working every morning, and looking after my toddler Grandson in the afternoons while his Mum is at work ... I haven't had much energy or oomph for posting in forums or facebook.
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Re: Have you lost someone close

Postby Stooo » Wed Sep 30, 2015 8:58 pm

OHW wrote:Sorry for your loss Stoo - a sad time for you.

I've been kept busy recently with my Step Dad, he has Altzheimers and has deteriorated a lot over the past weeks. It's so sad to lose such a vibrant talented man to this awful disease, he has become a shuffling old man with no memory. My Mum is doing everything for him at the minute, as he is clinging on to his last bit of dignity and refuses help from anyone else. He lets me help out a little, but I'm kept busy by doing lots of stuff for my Mum, so that she can spend time with him and not get too exhausted herself. Between spending time at their house (just up the road from me) and working every morning, and looking after my toddler Grandson in the afternoons while his Mum is at work ... I haven't had much energy or oomph for posting in forums or facebook.


Just be there when you can . Altzheimers is so draining to everyone close, you just have to bite down with this one.
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Re: Have you lost someone close

Postby megaera » Sat Oct 03, 2015 3:40 pm

Sorry to hear about your mum stooo x
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Re: Have you lost someone close

Postby Stooo » Sat Oct 03, 2015 5:03 pm

megaera wrote:Sorry to hear about your mum stooo x


Thanks Meg :smilin:
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Re: Have you lost someone close

Postby Abs » Fri Oct 09, 2015 12:54 am

I've just read, so sorry to hear, my condolences.
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Re: Have you lost someone close

Postby Stooo » Fri Oct 09, 2015 7:12 pm

Abs wrote:I've just read, so sorry to hear, my condolences.


The funeral service was on Wednesday and it went very well thank you Abs. :smilin:
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Re: Have you lost someone close

Postby Random » Sat Oct 10, 2015 12:03 pm

OHW wrote:Sorry for your loss Stoo - a sad time for you.

I've been kept busy recently with my Step Dad, he has Altzheimers and has deteriorated a lot over the past weeks. It's so sad to lose such a vibrant talented man to this awful disease, he has become a shuffling old man with no memory. My Mum is doing everything for him at the minute, as he is clinging on to his last bit of dignity and refuses help from anyone else. He lets me help out a little, but I'm kept busy by doing lots of stuff for my Mum, so that she can spend time with him and not get too exhausted herself. Between spending time at their house (just up the road from me) and working every morning, and looking after my toddler Grandson in the afternoons while his Mum is at work ... I haven't had much energy or oomph for posting in forums or facebook.

Although deterioration is the nature of Alzheimer's, a sudden change can indicate a water infection, constipation or other oncoming illness. Is it possible for you to check his water? Also don't be offended if he doesn't want your help. Encouraging him to do as much for himself as he can and supporting him with that will enable him to keep his dignity. It is difficult for family to understand but just because they have the disease does not mean they are not still in there. They are. I've worked with dementia for a few years and we see little miracles all the time, don't ever presume he doesn't understand and do not talk about his illness In font of him.

Good luck. I would advise checking his water and encouraging fluids. Try to aim for 200ml every hour, also rotate from hot to cold drinks because if he is only having hot tea and coffee that could dehydrate him.

You play CDs from his era, or just try to find fun activities he might engage in. Surrounding are very important, and they can get agitated if the temperature is too hot or cold, lighting too bright or dim, calming smells like lavendar or any other smells that trigger happy memories are good for mood.

Condolences to you too stoo.
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Re: Have you lost someone close

Postby Stooo » Sat Oct 10, 2015 3:38 pm

Random wrote:
OHW wrote:Sorry for your loss Stoo - a sad time for you.

I've been kept busy recently with my Step Dad, he has Altzheimers and has deteriorated a lot over the past weeks. It's so sad to lose such a vibrant talented man to this awful disease, he has become a shuffling old man with no memory. My Mum is doing everything for him at the minute, as he is clinging on to his last bit of dignity and refuses help from anyone else. He lets me help out a little, but I'm kept busy by doing lots of stuff for my Mum, so that she can spend time with him and not get too exhausted herself. Between spending time at their house (just up the road from me) and working every morning, and looking after my toddler Grandson in the afternoons while his Mum is at work ... I haven't had much energy or oomph for posting in forums or facebook.

Although deterioration is the nature of Alzheimer's, a sudden change can indicate a water infection, constipation or other oncoming illness. Is it possible for you to check his water? Also don't be offended if he doesn't want your help. Encouraging him to do as much for himself as he can and supporting him with that will enable him to keep his dignity. It is difficult for family to understand but just because they have the disease does not mean they are not still in there. They are. I've worked with dementia for a few years and we see little miracles all the time, don't ever presume he doesn't understand and do not talk about his illness In font of him.

Good luck. I would advise checking his water and encouraging fluids. Try to aim for 200ml every hour, also rotate from hot to cold drinks because if he is only having hot tea and coffee that could dehydrate him.

You play CDs from his era, or just try to find fun activities he might engage in. Surrounding are very important, and they can get agitated if the temperature is too hot or cold, lighting too bright or dim, calming smells like lavendar or any other smells that trigger happy memories are good for mood.

Condolences to you too stoo.


Thank you Random. I heard about an interesting programme the other day about poetry therapy for those with Alzheimer's. Because the short term memory has gone along with self confidence, reciting poems even childrens ones give periods of lucidity for sufferers.

http://www.memorycareliving.com/blog/po ... sufferers/
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Re: Have you lost someone close

Postby Kat » Sat Oct 10, 2015 5:34 pm

So sorry stoo .I've just seen this thread .cyber hugs to you x
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Re: Have you lost someone close

Postby Stooo » Sat Oct 10, 2015 5:38 pm

Kat wrote:So sorry stoo .I've just seen this thread .cyber hugs to you x


Thanx Kat :smilin:
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Re: Have you lost someone close

Postby Random » Sat Oct 10, 2015 6:34 pm

Stooo wrote:
Random wrote:
OHW wrote:Sorry for your loss Stoo - a sad time for you.

I've been kept busy recently with my Step Dad, he has Altzheimers and has deteriorated a lot over the past weeks. It's so sad to lose such a vibrant talented man to this awful disease, he has become a shuffling old man with no memory. My Mum is doing everything for him at the minute, as he is clinging on to his last bit of dignity and refuses help from anyone else. He lets me help out a little, but I'm kept busy by doing lots of stuff for my Mum, so that she can spend time with him and not get too exhausted herself. Between spending time at their house (just up the road from me) and working every morning, and looking after my toddler Grandson in the afternoons while his Mum is at work ... I haven't had much energy or oomph for posting in forums or facebook.

Although deterioration is the nature of Alzheimer's, a sudden change can indicate a water infection, constipation or other oncoming illness. Is it possible for you to check his water? Also don't be offended if he doesn't want your help. Encouraging him to do as much for himself as he can and supporting him with that will enable him to keep his dignity. It is difficult for family to understand but just because they have the disease does not mean they are not still in there. They are. I've worked with dementia for a few years and we see little miracles all the time, don't ever presume he doesn't understand and do not talk about his illness In font of him.

Good luck. I would advise checking his water and encouraging fluids. Try to aim for 200ml every hour, also rotate from hot to cold drinks because if he is only having hot tea and coffee that could dehydrate him.

You play CDs from his era, or just try to find fun activities he might engage in. Surrounding are very important, and they can get agitated if the temperature is too hot or cold, lighting too bright or dim, calming smells like lavendar or any other smells that trigger happy memories are good for mood.

Condolences to you too stoo.


Thank you Random. I heard about an interesting programme the other day about poetry therapy for those with Alzheimer's. Because the short term memory has gone along with self confidence, reciting poems even childrens ones give periods of lucidity for sufferers.

http://www.memorycareliving.com/blog/po ... sufferers/


Yes, and music is poetry too really. You'd be amazed at how they can remember every word of a song or a poem but not be able to string a proper sentence together. Anything that evokes happy memories and keeps them happy now.

I think the beginning stages are the worst when they know they're forgetting things and the end stage when they might become bed ridden but I've seen very confident and flamboyant people with dementia! The ladies still love to dress up and within the group of males and females there is still hierarchy. A male might reject other males coming into the building some people still get on better with some and take a dislike to others. They're very open about how they feel and express it.
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Re: Have you lost someone close

Postby Abs » Sun Oct 11, 2015 5:10 am

Stooo wrote:
Abs wrote:I've just read, so sorry to hear, my condolences.


The funeral service was on Wednesday and it went very well thank you Abs. :smilin:


You're welcome, glad it went well. I can't imagine what you are going thru, if I lose my mum, don't know what I will do, was hard enough losing dad last year. Still not doing good with that. May God help you through this.
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