Holiday 2024!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[HobbitFeet]

Oh when we booked this holiday Japan was still in partial lockdown and the protocol for travellers was horrific, so we flew to Miami in April, and I’m completely off long haul flights for the time being. We literally left at 5am Uk time and arrived at the hotel in Miami at 20:00 local time, so 1am Uk time, luckily the flight home 17 days later was just from Barcelona and direct to Manchester so fairly quick, but no long haul for a while.

I might book something later this year for next year though, because I know that despite the flying thing I really do want to go

Long haul must be a bit shit in economy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Premium economy, business and first class are the bollocks though.

In seriousness the flight itself was fab, we flew across to Canada then down the east coast so the last few hours were spectacular and interesting as we followed the TV screen flight path. American Airlines really looked after us and the flight was only half full so the cabin crew had plenty of time to pamper us

It was the rest of the stuff that was crap, the waiting around between flights, the whole checking in process is flawed and the wait between flights is horrific, and don't get me started on Miami immigration, the officer we got really, and I mean really, hated his job - then staggering out exhausted, the comparison from the April weather here to the Miami heat and noise was a whole new level of hell

[LordRaven]

Oh when we booked this holiday Japan was still in partial lockdown and the protocol for travellers was horrific, so we flew to Miami in April, and I’m completely off long haul flights for the time being. We literally left at 5am Uk time and arrived at the hotel in Miami at 20:00 local time, so 1am Uk time, luckily the flight home 17 days later was just from Barcelona and direct to Manchester so fairly quick, but no long haul for a while.

I might book something later this year for next year though, because I know that despite the flying thing I really do want to go

Long haul must be a bit shit in economy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually it’s not, take last flight, drinks, dinner, movie with more drinks, sleep and you get woken up in plenty of time to brush teeth, wash your face, have breakfast, and you’ll be fresh as a daisy when you land.

Economy on night flights is okay because you sleep for most of the journey.

When I was minted, I flew American Airlines first class Bogotá to Miami.
I was sat next to a young yank guy, he’d lost his young Thai wife to cancer, and he was showing me the house they’d built in Thailand near the hinterland etc, but it was clearly upsetting him showing me the photos.
I therefore changed tack and told him that US Border Control always gave me a hard time on arrival, and I then said “look at me now, a buff coloured suit, white shirt, and one hell of a suntan, I’ll bet they give me shit on arrival.”
We laughed, and on arrival he said as we went up an escalator, seeing a sign saying “Border Control 100 yards, “oh look your friends.”
However, on arriving only at the top of the elevator, a California Highway Patrol Sergeant, who looked like Eric Estrada, shouted at me “Hola senor! Come here!” My yank compatriot pissed himself.
I went a bit overboard, heading straight at the twat saying “See this, it’s a British passport and I’m effing English, what’s your effing problem?” He went bright red and waved me on.
I rejoined my yank buddy and he said it had made his day. Which I was glad of, he having recently lost his wife.

[Guest]

Oh when we booked this holiday Japan was still in partial lockdown and the protocol for travellers was horrific, so we flew to Miami in April, and I’m completely off long haul flights for the time being. We literally left at 5am Uk time and arrived at the hotel in Miami at 20:00 local time, so 1am Uk time, luckily the flight home 17 days later was just from Barcelona and direct to Manchester so fairly quick, but no long haul for a while.

I might book something later this year for next year though, because I know that despite the flying thing I really do want to go

Long haul must be a bit shit in economy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually it’s not, take last flight, drinks, dinner, movie with more drinks, sleep and you get woken up in plenty of time to brush teeth, wash your face, have breakfast, and you’ll be fresh as a daisy when you land.

Economy on night flights is okay because you sleep for most of the journey.

When I was minted, I flew American Airlines first class Bogotá to Miami.
I was sat next to a young yank guy, he’d lost his young Thai wife to cancer, and he was showing me the house they’d built in Thailand near the hinterland etc, but it was clearly upsetting him showing me the photos.
I therefore changed tack and told him that US Border Control always gave me a hard time on arrival, and I then said “look at me now, a buff coloured suit, white shirt, and one hell of a suntan, I’ll bet they give me shit on arrival.”
We laughed, and on arrival he said as we went up an escalator, seeing a sign saying “Border Control 100 yards, “oh look your friends.”
However, on arriving only at the top of the elevator, a California Highway Patrol Sergeant, who looked like Eric Estrada, shouted at me “Hola senor! Come here!” My yank compatriot pissed himself.
I went a bit overboard, heading straight at the twat saying “See this, it’s a British passport and I’m effing English, what’s your effing problem?” He went bright red and waved me on.
I rejoined my yank buddy and he said it had made his day. Which I was glad of, he having recently lost his wife.

I'll take things that didn't happen, for 20 points.

Miami is a shit show for everyone non-American having to wait. Your British passport means nothing to the American Border Agent. You speak to any official in their airports like that and you're denied entry.

You missed off the bit where everyone cheered and clapped you.

[HobbitFeet]

Oh when we booked this holiday Japan was still in partial lockdown and the protocol for travellers was horrific, so we flew to Miami in April, and I’m completely off long haul flights for the time being. We literally left at 5am Uk time and arrived at the hotel in Miami at 20:00 local time, so 1am Uk time, luckily the flight home 17 days later was just from Barcelona and direct to Manchester so fairly quick, but no long haul for a while.

I might book something later this year for next year though, because I know that despite the flying thing I really do want to go

Long haul must be a bit shit in economy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually it’s not, take last flight, drinks, dinner, movie with more drinks, sleep and you get woken up in plenty of time to brush teeth, wash your face, have breakfast, and you’ll be fresh as a daisy when you land.

Economy on night flights is okay because you sleep for most of the journey.

When I was minted, I flew American Airlines first class Bogotá to Miami.
I was sat next to a young yank guy, he’d lost his young Thai wife to cancer, and he was showing me the house they’d built in Thailand near the hinterland etc, but it was clearly upsetting him showing me the photos.
I therefore changed tack and told him that US Border Control always gave me a hard time on arrival, and I then said “look at me now, a buff coloured suit, white shirt, and one hell of a suntan, I’ll bet they give me shit on arrival.”
We laughed, and on arrival he said as we went up an escalator, seeing a sign saying “Border Control 100 yards, “oh look your friends.”
However, on arriving only at the top of the elevator, a California Highway Patrol Sergeant, who looked like Eric Estrada, shouted at me “Hola senor! Come here!” My yank compatriot pissed himself.
I went a bit overboard, heading straight at the twat saying “See this, it’s a British passport and I’m effing English, what’s your effing problem?” He went bright red and waved me on.
I rejoined my yank buddy and he said it had made his day. Which I was glad of, he having recently lost his wife.

ummm

[.SF.]

Oh when we booked this holiday Japan was still in partial lockdown and the protocol for travellers was horrific, so we flew to Miami in April, and I’m completely off long haul flights for the time being. We literally left at 5am Uk time and arrived at the hotel in Miami at 20:00 local time, so 1am Uk time, luckily the flight home 17 days later was just from Barcelona and direct to Manchester so fairly quick, but no long haul for a while.

I might book something later this year for next year though, because I know that despite the flying thing I really do want to go

Long haul must be a bit shit in economy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually it’s not, take last flight, drinks, dinner, movie with more drinks, sleep and you get woken up in plenty of time to brush teeth, wash your face, have breakfast, and you’ll be fresh as a daisy when you land.

Economy on night flights is okay because you sleep for most of the journey.

When I was minted, I flew American Airlines first class Bogotá to Miami.
I was sat next to a young yank guy, he’d lost his young Thai wife to cancer, and he was showing me the house they’d built in Thailand near the hinterland etc, but it was clearly upsetting him showing me the photos.
I therefore changed tack and told him that US Border Control always gave me a hard time on arrival, and I then said “look at me now, a buff coloured suit, white shirt, and one hell of a suntan, I’ll bet they give me shit on arrival.”
We laughed, and on arrival he said as we went up an escalator, seeing a sign saying “Border Control 100 yards, “oh look your friends.”
However, on arriving only at the top of the elevator, a California Highway Patrol Sergeant, who looked like Eric Estrada, shouted at me “Hola senor! Come here!” My yank compatriot pissed himself.
I went a bit overboard, heading straight at the twat saying “See this, it’s a British passport and I’m effing English, what’s your effing problem?” He went bright red and waved me on.
I rejoined my yank buddy and he said it had made his day. Which I was glad of, he having recently lost his wife.

I'll take things that didn't happen, for 20 points.

Miami is a shit show for everyone non-American having to wait. Your British passport means nothing to the American Border Agent. You speak to any official in their airports like that and you're denied entry.

You missed off the bit where everyone cheered and clapped you.

Shouldn't laugh but that's a gem

[ArchieG]

U.S. customs and immigration can be quite thorough, but always polite, in my experience. Though I’ve never tried it dressed as a Columbian drug baron.

[Guest]

When I was minted, I flew American Airlines first class Bogotá to Miami.
I was sat next to a young yank guy, he’d lost his young Thai wife to cancer, and he was showing me the house they’d built in Thailand near the hinterland etc, but it was clearly upsetting him showing me the photos.
I therefore changed tack and told him that US Border Control always gave me a hard time on arrival, and I then said “look at me now, a buff coloured suit, white shirt, and one hell of a suntan, I’ll bet they give me shit on arrival.”
We laughed, and on arrival he said as we went up an escalator, seeing a sign saying “Border Control 100 yards, “oh look your friends.”
However, on arriving only at the top of the elevator, a California Highway Patrol Sergeant, who looked like Eric Estrada, shouted at me “Hola senor! Come here!” My yank compatriot pissed himself.
I went a bit overboard, heading straight at the twat saying “See this, it’s a British passport and I’m effing English, what’s your effing problem?” He went bright red and waved me on.
I rejoined my yank buddy and he said it had made his day. Which I was glad of, he having recently lost his wife.

ummm

[Stooo]

Oh FFS Raven

[LordRaven]

Oh when we booked this holiday Japan was still in partial lockdown and the protocol for travellers was horrific, so we flew to Miami in April, and I’m completely off long haul flights for the time being. We literally left at 5am Uk time and arrived at the hotel in Miami at 20:00 local time, so 1am Uk time, luckily the flight home 17 days later was just from Barcelona and direct to Manchester so fairly quick, but no long haul for a while.

I might book something later this year for next year though, because I know that despite the flying thing I really do want to go

Long haul must be a bit shit in economy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually it’s not, take last flight, drinks, dinner, movie with more drinks, sleep and you get woken up in plenty of time to brush teeth, wash your face, have breakfast, and you’ll be fresh as a daisy when you land.

Economy on night flights is okay because you sleep for most of the journey.

When I was minted, I flew American Airlines first class Bogotá to Miami.
I was sat next to a young yank guy, he’d lost his young Thai wife to cancer, and he was showing me the house they’d built in Thailand near the hinterland etc, but it was clearly upsetting him showing me the photos.
I therefore changed tack and told him that US Border Control always gave me a hard time on arrival, and I then said “look at me now, a buff coloured suit, white shirt, and one hell of a suntan, I’ll bet they give me shit on arrival.”
We laughed, and on arrival he said as we went up an escalator, seeing a sign saying “Border Control 100 yards, “oh look your friends.”
However, on arriving only at the top of the elevator, a California Highway Patrol Sergeant, who looked like Eric Estrada, shouted at me “Hola senor! Come here!” My yank compatriot pissed himself.
I went a bit overboard, heading straight at the twat saying “See this, it’s a British passport and I’m effing English, what’s your effing problem?” He went bright red and waved me on.
I rejoined my yank buddy and he said it had made his day. Which I was glad of, he having recently lost his wife.

I'll take things that didn't happen, for 20 points.

Miami is a shit show for everyone non-American having to wait. Your British passport means nothing to the American Border Agent. You speak to any official in their airports like that and you're denied entry.

You missed off the bit where everyone cheered and clapped you.

Dear Mong, you’ve obviously read this but failed to understand
Thick Twat!

[LordRaven]

Oh FFS Raven

What’s up old bean? I went to a wedding in Pereira in Colombia.
What a beautiful country! Although El Dorado airport is a pain.
Stayed in a beautiful hacienda and had humming birds right outside the windows when we sat down for meals.
I must look like some kind of villain because yank airport security always give me shit.

I’m very well travelled, and I just laugh at the obvious envy from those who are not.
I’ve loads of stories of my travels, I’ve been to many countries and had great experiences.

China, Japan, Oz and NZ I never got to, hopefully one day.

I feel sorry for anyone who hasn’t travelled much, there’s a big world out there to explore.
I’m glad some on here have travelled extensively, the snipers have probably only managed Benidorm though

[Guest]

Dear Mong, you’ve obviously read this but failed to understand
Thick Twat!

You use that word a lot, not cool at all.

[LordRaven]

“ I went a bit overboard, heading straight at the twat saying “See this, it’s a British passport and I’m effing English, what’s your effing problem?” He went bright red and waved me on.”

I’m truly sorry, but I just can’t stop laughing.

I think it might be seeing “effing’ in writing, and twice to boot. Not sure. But thank you, thank you so much.

Be my guest, it was hilarious. Fucking jobsworth twat accosting me before I even got to passport control.
The point of showing my British passport was to dissuade him from his obvious misconceptions about me.

We have jobsworth here in our airports too.
I once flew in to London from Alicante, when we were in the EU, with 600 cigarettes.
The Mong that grabbed me to check my suitcase told me she was going to have to charge me duty for my cigarettes.
When I said I’d flown from Alicante, she said “yeah but they’ve only applied to join the EU, they’re not on it yet.”
A woman to my left also being bag checked burst into laughter.
We both told the Mong that it was part of mainland Spain, and the Mong said “I’ll let you off this time.”
I suggested she learn geography and left.

[HobbitFeet]

FFS raven

Mong is a derogatory word used to describe people with Downs Syndrome, due to their physical attrbutes and likeness to Asian people from Mongolia

It's outdated, offensive, and nothing more than a bloody playground insult that died out in the 80's - when people began to get a little awareness about how offensive using these terms are

just quit using it

[LordRaven]

FFS raven

Mong is a derogatory word used to describe people with Downs Syndrome, due to their physical attrbutes and likeness to Asian people from Mongolia

It's outdated, offensive, and nothing more than a bloody playground insult that died out in the 80's - when people began to get a little awareness about how offensive using these terms are

just quit using it

How things change?
When a certain poster used that word previously and I said what you did just now, I was told that this is forum and to wind my neck in.
I’m glad Dogs has grown up, and I’ll henceforth refrain from using that word.

[Guest]

Oh when we booked this holiday Japan was still in partial lockdown and the protocol for travellers was horrific, so we flew to Miami in April, and I’m completely off long haul flights for the time being. We literally left at 5am Uk time and arrived at the hotel in Miami at 20:00 local time, so 1am Uk time, luckily the flight home 17 days later was just from Barcelona and direct to Manchester so fairly quick, but no long haul for a while.

I might book something later this year for next year though, because I know that despite the flying thing I really do want to go

Long haul must be a bit shit in economy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually it’s not, take last flight, drinks, dinner, movie with more drinks, sleep and you get woken up in plenty of time to brush teeth, wash your face, have breakfast, and you’ll be fresh as a daisy when you land.

Economy on night flights is okay because you sleep for most of the journey.

When I was minted, I flew American Airlines first class Bogotá to Miami.
I was sat next to a young yank guy, he’d lost his young Thai wife to cancer, and he was showing me the house they’d built in Thailand near the hinterland etc, but it was clearly upsetting him showing me the photos.
I therefore changed tack and told him that US Border Control always gave me a hard time on arrival, and I then said “look at me now, a buff coloured suit, white shirt, and one hell of a suntan, I’ll bet they give me shit on arrival.”
We laughed, and on arrival he said as we went up an escalator, seeing a sign saying “Border Control 100 yards, “oh look your friends.”
However, on arriving only at the top of the elevator, a California Highway Patrol Sergeant, who looked like Eric Estrada, shouted at me “Hola senor! Come here!” My yank compatriot pissed himself.
I went a bit overboard, heading straight at the twat saying “See this, it’s a British passport and I’m effing English, what’s your effing problem?” He went bright red and waved me on.
I rejoined my yank buddy and he said it had made his day. Which I was glad of, he having recently lost his wife.

Why would a California highway patrol sergeant be at Miami airport?