Mental health.

A right load of bollocks...

Mental health.

Postby Bella » Thu Feb 15, 2018 8:42 pm

Not a cheerful subject, sorry!
My Lad lost a friend today, another suicide.A very bright Lad in his 20s who wrote fantastic music etc.
My Lad is only 18 and this is the second person in his peer group to commit suicide, last one was his mates sister who was splashed all over the news, she was only 15 and was very talented. A high achiever...

It seems to happen all too often around here, a 15 year girl killed herself just after Christmas, also in the mainstream news.

I used to work in Mental health and my late bro tried to take his life several times but he had a long and enduring mental health issue.

My Sons friend managed to get to work and appear cheerful and although a bit different, he showed no signs of a deep depression.

Too sad, I can't fathom out what is going on for some of today's young folk
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Re: Mental health.

Postby dis » Thu Feb 15, 2018 8:51 pm

That’s very sad Bella.

A couple of teenagers around here have taken their own lives over the last year. It’s awful, it’s very hard to deal with. I think they were feeling pressured with exams and I know one of them was bullied at school and online. I think there is still such a stigma around it, people don’t feel they can talk to anyone about it.
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Re: Mental health.

Postby Avon Barksdale » Thu Feb 15, 2018 8:55 pm

Bella wrote:Not a cheerful subject, sorry!
My Lad lost a friend today, another suicide.A very bright Lad in his 20s who wrote fantastic music etc.
My Lad is only 18 and this is the second person in his peer group to commit suicide, last one was his mates sister who was splashed all over the news, she was only 15 and was very talented. A high achiever...

It seems to happen all too often around here, a 15 year girl killed herself just after Christmas, also in the mainstream news.

I used to work in Mental health and my late bro tried to take his life several times but he had a long and enduring mental health issue.

My Sons friend managed to get to work and appear cheerful and although a bit different, he showed no signs of a deep depression.

Too sad, I can't fathom out what is going on for some of today's young folk


That's so sad. I hope your boy is bearing up well because losing a friend like that can be incredibly hard to deal with.

Maybe worth him having a chat with C.A.L.M (if he hasn't done so already) as they are a great charity working to reduce suicide in young people, especially young men and they may help him make sense of what is going on if he is struggling with it.
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Re: Mental health.

Postby Goodwife » Thu Feb 15, 2018 8:56 pm

Maybe its social media and the fact everyone is encouraged to talk about feelings nowadays.

Once upon a time you had a stiff upper lip and just got on with things.

Social media can be great but its also a really bad thing. The youngsters of today think if someone posts something on line its acceptable to comment and be as vicious, mean and damn right as nasty as possible to the person & when questioned its the persons own fault for posting online and they should accept if they do thats what happens. Its sad to live in that kind of world

Its sad that teenagers are that desperate they feel they have no choice but to do that :shake head:
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Re: Mental health.

Postby Avon Barksdale » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:04 pm

Goodwife wrote:Social media can be great but its also a really bad thing. The youngsters of today think if someone posts something on line its acceptable to comment and be as vicious, mean and damn right as nasty as possible to the person & when questioned its the persons own fault for posting online and they should accept if they do thats what happens. Its sad to live in that kind of world


I think you're spot on in relation to social media and it's intrusion into our daily lives, especially that of our kids.

We seem to have sleep walked into and are living through a nightmarish social experiment and we don't really know how it is impacting on us. Smartphones and social media are what, only about ten years old, yet now is everywhere and hard to escape from. I wonder if our ancestors will look back on us and say "what the hell were they thinking?"

Many tech execs apparently don't allow their children access to social media. Maybe they are on to something...
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Re: Mental health.

Postby Lucian Deville » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:10 pm

Hi OP

Sorry about that. We have relatives that lost a gradchild to suicide and child was close to 20 - we put it down to social media/expectations from peer groups - a few years before that a friend of the family, their son killed himself when he learn his GF was seeing another man - just oo much of this about.
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Re: Mental health.

Postby Bella » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:17 pm

I keep thinking about this, the lad said he felt a bit guilty as he and his mate and found him a bit irritating at times, they worked together, assured him although normal to feel guilty in such a situation but it had nothing to do with his suicide.

He bought the Lad a load of special beers a few days ago, I wonder if he was saying "Goodbye" then .

He was a recent friend through work and not one of his "Best Mates" but one they went out with etc.

Too sad!
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Re: Mental health.

Postby Guest » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:27 pm

this is a horrible thing for your son to process & come to terms with. he wasn't to blame for what happened & my thoughts are with him.
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Re: Mental health.

Postby Star » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:28 pm

Bella wrote:Not a cheerful subject, sorry!
My Lad lost a friend today, another suicide.A very bright Lad in his 20s who wrote fantastic music etc.
My Lad is only 18 and this is the second person in his peer group to commit suicide, last one was his mates sister who was splashed all over the news, she was only 15 and was very talented. A high achiever...

It seems to happen all too often around here, a 15 year girl killed herself just after Christmas, also in the mainstream news.

I used to work in Mental health and my late bro tried to take his life several times but he had a long and enduring mental health issue.

My Sons friend managed to get to work and appear cheerful and although a bit different, he showed no signs of a deep depression.

Too sad, I can't fathom out what is going on for some of today's young folk

That’s so sad Bella. I hope you’re lad will be ok!
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Re: Mental health.

Postby Goodwife » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:32 pm

Bella wrote:I keep thinking about this, the lad said he felt a bit guilty as he and his mate and found him a bit irritating at times, they worked together, assured him although normal to feel guilty in such a situation but it had nothing to do with his suicide.

He bought the Lad a load of special beers a few days ago, I wonder if he was saying "Goodbye" then .

He was a recent friend through work and not one of his "Best Mates" but one they went out with etc.

Too sad!



It is very sad, I hope your son is ok

Its always tough to lose a friend
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Re: Mental health.

Postby Bella » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:40 pm

My worst thoughts are, the Lad thought he was Gay, I did wonder if he had a thing about my lad who is not that way inclined but understanding etc. They were friends because of work and music etc.

The lad said he thought it was possibly no mistake he killed himself on valentines day, not sure how to go about this . Hopefully I'm mistaken.
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Re: Mental health.

Postby dis » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:42 pm

Bella wrote:I keep thinking about this, the lad said he felt a bit guilty as he and his mate and found him a bit irritating at times, they worked together, assured him although normal to feel guilty in such a situation but it had nothing to do with his suicide.

He bought the Lad a load of special beers a few days ago, I wonder if he was saying "Goodbye" then .

He was a recent friend through work and not one of his "Best Mates" but one they went out with etc.

Too sad!


It is. It will be hard for your son to deal with, it’s never easy losing a friend but suicide is especially hard to take in. I hope your son copes ok Bella.
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Re: Mental health.

Postby NastyNickers » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:49 pm

dis wrote:
Bella wrote:I keep thinking about this, the lad said he felt a bit guilty as he and his mate and found him a bit irritating at times, they worked together, assured him although normal to feel guilty in such a situation but it had nothing to do with his suicide.

He bought the Lad a load of special beers a few days ago, I wonder if he was saying "Goodbye" then .

He was a recent friend through work and not one of his "Best Mates" but one they went out with etc.

Too sad!


It is. It will be hard for your son to deal with, it’s never easy losing a friend but suicide is especially hard to take in. I hope your son copes ok Bella.


And especially so young. It’s always hard to get your head around the death of someone who has so much life ahead of them.

Mental health support in this country in fucking wank though. Especially for kids.
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Re: Mental health.

Postby Bella » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:50 pm

Thanks my Lad will be fine, he has friends who will all support each other, but they all in a bit of shock.

I'm just wondering why Suicide of younger folks seems all too common around here.

I know CAMHS are hopeless and the local adult mental health services are overwhelmed...
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Re: Mental health.

Postby Hmmmm » Thu Feb 15, 2018 9:54 pm

I'm finding the content of this thread in poor taste really.

I am all for promoting coverage and promotion of issues relating to Mental Health, but coming onto a public forum and discussing a friend of your Son's and picking through his life regarding him being gay etc. Especially on the day he died It's not really fair. It's also a bit weird coming straight on here to talk about it.

Let him rest in peace, and free from the pain and torment he obviously found in life, to feel the need to end it
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