Victoria

[Stooo]

I'm really not sure why any blame is getting thrown at stooo.
Yes it was becoming evident that Victoria was possibly in trouble , especially in recent months. But what do you do to someone in trouble ? Do you try to support them or do you say "Look, you are too much bother .I know you like modding but I can't be arsed with the problems so you need to piss off" . That would have been cruel . There really was no way to handle it without hurting someone(s) .
Hopefully Victoria will be posting as a member soon and will now be aware that putting your head above the parapet by modding makes you a huge target and it really is not something she can safely handle .
I'd add I hope those who have been taunting her will now leave her be , but small chance of that so no point in asking .

It's just Kat banging her gums again, she's on call on the motorways for the next week.

Chuufin' fook!

[Dimples]

A lot goes on behind the scenes, Kat, and it's unfair to blame Stooo, he has been great in all this. I live close to her, so can visit her, the others haven't the same luxury.
Vicky needs some time to herself right now but will be back soon.
We have ALL been busy and I am stepping in even on holiday, while Holly is up all hours in her mornings...sometimes 3/4am, just to let guests post.
What Stooo quoted about is true, and we all look out for each other.

I seriously considered closing the place down the last time. I was full of guilt because of what happened, if Dogs didn't exist than neither would this situation.

I hope that Vicky is ok.

I have sent her a message. I also think she needs a bit of time and space until she begins to feel better and I told her so. Most people care that she is going to be OK and don't want to see her - or indeed anyone - in such distress. There is nothing in forum world which is worth the potential damage to anyone's emotional well-being and if that is ever in jeopardy, then a spell out of forum world is probably the best thing.

[Stooo]

A lot goes on behind the scenes, Kat, and it's unfair to blame Stooo, he has been great in all this. I live close to her, so can visit her, the others haven't the same luxury.
Vicky needs some time to herself right now but will be back soon.
We have ALL been busy and I am stepping in even on holiday, while Holly is up all hours in her mornings...sometimes 3/4am, just to let guests post.
What Stooo quoted about is true, and we all look out for each other.

I seriously considered closing the place down the last time. I was full of guilt because of what happened, if Dogs didn't exist than neither would this situation.

I hope that Vicky is ok.

I have sent her a message. I also think she needs a bit of time and space until she begins to feel better and I told her so. Most people care that she is going to be OK and don't want to see her - or indeed anyone - in such distress. There is nothing in forum world which is worth the potential damage to anyone's emotional well-being and if that is ever in jeopardy, then a spell out of forum world is probably the best thing.

That really isn't my decision to make, this isn't the only forum going.

[Dimples]

A lot goes on behind the scenes, Kat, and it's unfair to blame Stooo, he has been great in all this. I live close to her, so can visit her, the others haven't the same luxury.
Vicky needs some time to herself right now but will be back soon.
We have ALL been busy and I am stepping in even on holiday, while Holly is up all hours in her mornings...sometimes 3/4am, just to let guests post.
What Stooo quoted about is true, and we all look out for each other.

I seriously considered closing the place down the last time. I was full of guilt because of what happened, if Dogs didn't exist than neither would this situation.

I hope that Vicky is ok.

I have sent her a message. I also think she needs a bit of time and space until she begins to feel better and I told her so. Most people care that she is going to be OK and don't want to see her - or indeed anyone - in such distress. There is nothing in forum world which is worth the potential damage to anyone's emotional well-being and if that is ever in jeopardy, then a spell out of forum world is probably the best thing.

That really isn't my decision to make, this isn't the only forum going.

I didn't suggest or imply that it was your decision. Only Victoria can make that choice for herself and indeed it is better for her to be the one to make that decision under her own steam, as opposed to anyone else deciding it on her behalf. I don't really know all the ins and outs of what has gone on today but I was made aware that Victoria was upset, so I messaged her when I got in from work. There wasn't really anything else I could do, I'm afraid. I hope she's OK.

[Stooo]

I hope she's OK.

We all do.

[Vam]

I'm really not sure why any blame is getting thrown at stooo.
Yes it was becoming evident that Victoria was possibly in trouble , especially in recent months. But what do you do to someone in trouble ? Do you try to support them or do you say "Look, you are too much bother .I know you like modding but I can't be arsed with the problems so you need to piss off" . That would have been cruel . There really was no way to handle it without hurting someone(s) .
Hopefully Victoria will be posting as a member soon and will now be aware that putting your head above the parapet by modding makes you a huge target and it really is not something she can safely handle .
I'd add I hope those who have been taunting her will now leave her be , but small chance of that so no point in asking .

Sadly, that's true. People are almost certainly salivating all over this, like a pack of jackals, throughout this group of forums. Even though they have learned that Vic seems to be massively distressed and emotionally fragile these days, some people still can't muster up the tact or even a little compassion to make Vic a complete non-subject - if only for while.

This is my second (and final) post in this thread. I can only repeat that I've always liked Vic very much. I'm still hoping that, despite everything, we'll see her back here some time and I'm pretty sure that everyone (and I mean everyone) at Dogs wishes her all that's good.

(final point to anyone who wants to scream "hypocrite" at me, or enter into a pissing contest about who has or hasn't been bullied/abused worse than Vic has: the simple fact is - you haven't. Not even close. In my time around here, I haven't seen anyone being subjected to the persistent level of vitriolic abuse and humiliation Vic has endured on a daily basis)

[megaera]

I've no idea what has happened, but I hope you are OK Victoria and can come back to us when you are ready

[Metalgirl]

All good wishes to Vic, I hope she feels much better soon. The constant vitriol directed at her must have been wearing and seems to have taken it's toll. A little time away will hopefully put into perspective that these warriors of the net are really about as potent as lemonade.

For what it's worth, I don't think anyone can be blamed other than those who persistently attacked her. As grown ups we should make our own decisions and they should be, and indeed were here, respected.

[Maddog]

Perhaps if people posted like their kids or parents were watching, they would not be such major league dickheads to each other.

Post like you would if people knew where you lived.

[Trapper John]

I've read the posts in this thread and am more than a little dismayed that people are saying that Vicks should take a break or give it some time before returning.

In my opinion she should never go near another forum or open herself up to any form of social media again.

Unfortunately I believe she is one of those people who have difficulty separating the cyber world from real life - and we are all aware that in general it doesn't end very well for people like that.

I say this not to be unkind, I say this because I believe she can only do herself more harm by continuing to live her life through the internet. She will not be able to 're-invent herself' through another persona because however long she can keep it up, events and circumstances will eventually return her to the place she is now.

If you read this Vicks, do yourself a favour and forget forums or any form of social media that leaves you open to the abuse of others and indeed abuse of yourself.

Find other interests, immersing yourself too deeply in this forum in particular has done you no good - for you, it's wholly unhealthy.

There are lots of other things I could say but I would no doubt be accused of being callous or cruel, I don't wish to be either but it has become clear to me - certainly over the past year - that you have struggled to maintain a clear line between Forum World and reality, at best that line has become blurred, at worse you see no differential.

I'm saying this Vicks as a person who has posted with you for some years, here and on Sol - do yourself a favour and don't go back to the world of forums - they are just not the place for you, however much you might think they are.

I wish you well and hope you heed and understand what I have said.

[measurer]

Nice seeing you TJ

[Guest 101]

A lot goes on behind the scenes, Kat, and it's unfair to blame Stooo, he has been great in all this. I live close to her, so can visit her, the others haven't the same luxury.
Vicky needs some time to herself right now but will be back soon.
We have ALL been busy and I am stepping in even on holiday, while Holly is up all hours in her mornings...sometimes 3/4am, just to let guests post.
What Stooo quoted about is true, and we all look out for each other.

I seriously considered closing the place down the last time. I was full of guilt because of what happened, if Dogs didn't exist than neither would this situation.

I hope that Vicky is ok.

I have sent her a message. I also think she needs a bit of time and space until she begins to feel better and I told her so. Most people care that she is going to be OK and don't want to see her - or indeed anyone - in such distress. There is nothing in forum world which is worth the potential damage to anyone's emotional well-being and if that is ever in jeopardy, then a spell out of forum world is probably the best thing.

I've messaged her too.

[measurer]

Thanks for all the kind messages that you have all sent to Vicky, I'm sure she will appreciate the support and genuine feeling shown.

[Seymour]

All the best to Vic whatever she decides to do whenever she decides to do it. She has been / is a huge part of this forum in different capacities and I've heard Stooo didn't even pay the woman minimum wage! Enjoy your time away Vic whether that is 30 minutes, 3 weeks, 3 months or whatever. Only you know what is best for you right now.

Take care Myra and enjoy the FA Cup final tomorrow in peace.

[xtras1]

hi mes


i read tj's post and agree to a certain point. taking a break does wonders for those who are getting dragged down by the day to day insults, there are some real nutcases on forums that take pleasure in abusing posters, i learnt early on in sol from shine & star! but vicky also has some good mates here so not sure i agree leaving forever! i remember vicky from sol, feisty & stood her ground ..so whatever has caused this i can only wish her well & hope that in time she sees fit to return to the this world of madness, going by the well wishes from some posters it shows there are some decent folk out there.. all the best vicky in whatever you decide ...